SMRP Extra: A Parallel World Kindergarten 3

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Recently, all the teachers have been trying their best to separate me from my newly-appointed wife.

They say something like,

“Liu Bi, stop bullying the new student. How many times have you bullied him to tears already?”

Bullshit. All that was clearly care for my future wife.

The tears… I’m pretty sure they’re tears of happiness.

Did you think that all this could stop me caring for my wife.

Ho, naïve.

One day, at noon, when every other kid is sleeping,

I sneak my way to the bedside of my little wife, to see her asleep expression.

I look at her, mesmerised.

Then, I drag her away while covering her mouth.

She wakes up as I am jumping through the window. She tries to struggle and kill me with her cold gaze.

Ho, naïve.

I leap outside and then press her onto a tree. I hold her face up with my hands and say, in a manner I find very gentle,

“Come, this gege here will take you outside to see the world.”

As expected,

She is immediately so touched she is tearing up.

When I see how touched she is, I am also moved as I take her to the usual bin with extreme force.

She is still violently struggling,

As if I’m some people smuggler.

“No need to struggle, I wouldn’t throw you inside.”

I try to calm her down by holding her down,

But I didn’t expect her to be so physically powerful.

When I see that a shorty one head shorter than I am is about to struggle free of my bear hug,

I decide to plant a kiss on the mouth in irritation.

She stops moving, as I expected.

Tch, although I always thought those TV dramas showed weird human interactions,

But it actually worked.

She is standing next to me, dazed. I wonder what the strange gesture would have meant to her for her not to move at all.

Actually, I wonder what it meant to myself as well.

Today luck is on our side. Three bags and two takeout polystyrene boxes later, I find the prize of the day.

Two pink, oval objects.

They look rather exquisite.

I take my iPhone out, and another image search.

“Ah, love… eggs.”

I really did know a lot of characters for my age.

I look back and hand one over to my little wife,

“Here, the most elegant, amazing toys in the entire world. These are all different from normal, childish toys.”

She seems to have given it some thought before taking one, and then she looks at me, curious.

I see a button on this love egg,

And I push it,

Then my hand starts to go numb.

…Open circuit?

I don’t really understand, since I am just a childish, cute, inquisitive, pitiful, child.

But I decide to start bullshiting,

“Look, there’s a button here, if you press it, the toy electrifies, so this must be an offensive-type weapon of mass destruction.”

I tell her, sincerely, sternly, “you must use it with care!”

Then, I turn around and crouch,

To start electrocuting ants.

She seems confused, so she decides to follow my lead, and also crouches besides me,

To electrocute ants.

It ended up oddly interesting.

Then, after a round of electrocutions,

I start to see red climbing onto the sky.

I am not particularly concerned; this season the sky darkens really quickly,

Then I glance at the time.

Sss——

I gasp.

It’s already 3…

Then, I sternly and firmly hold the other hand that is electrocuting ants.

“It’s time. I must go save the world, and I cannot play with you now. I will need to send you back first.”

She extends her hand, seemingly befuddled, trying to return to love egg to me.

I shake my head, and try to come up with a melodramatic reason,

“This love egg is my memento of love to you, assuming I make it back alive…”

I extend my own love egg and touch it with hers.

“Assuming I make it back alive, I’ll marry you.”

She seems touched somehow, and nods firmly.

I have to say, even I’m tearing up from my performance.

I take her back via the usual route, and when I’m about to jump through the window, I see the angry headmaster and teachers.

I hear the headmaster yell, “Liu Bi! Where did you take Leng Xianxian?”

I protect my little wife behind me, and yell out, all justified,

“It’s my fault and nobody else’s! I took Leng Xianxian out by force! I brought her to…”

My brain cells are excitedly firing up, coming up with a perfect reason,

Suddenly, there’s a spark of brilliance as I recall the phrase I’ve seen on the Internet browser,

“I took her to get a room and give her a good time!”

Although I wasn’t sure what either of them implied.

Though, I was aware it was some kind of extreme sport.

A very stimulating, exciting kind of extreme sport… Right?

I see the faces of the headmaster and the teachers going green.

The Internet browser sure is not to be trusted,

But life continues nonetheless.

I cannot give up on my little wife just because everyone is trying to stop me.

I continue to diligently care for my little wife by myself.

Waiting for her to grow up before marrying her under my name.

But, fate sure is fickle.

One day,

I don’t know what I was thinking,

As I very haughtily flip her skirt,

Only to be met with a scene I will never forget in my entire life.

“Wow——Cool——”

My wife,

Has a ding-dong.

I ended up quiet for a day,

And all the kids and teachers are quite surprised to find me so docile for the day.

I, who has just learned my love is misplaced, is too tired to respond to them.

That noon, I asked a question online,

‘What should I do if my wife has a ding-dong?’

Soon enough someone replies,

‘Nice!’

Fine. I’ve raised my wife so much now,

What, thought I could even divorce her or something after so long?

I decide to frankly accept the fact that my wife has a ding-dong.

Or maybe not so frankly.

The water of bad quality is swiveling in my eyes.

As I am thinking, while being sad.

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